How babies sleep

[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignleft" width="150"] 8 week old baby's daytime sleep[/caption]

Have you heard your baby cry during the night, or day, during sleep? It is a common thing and very normal for babies to do this. Even adults will talk, moan and make all sorts of noises in their sleep.

 

Babies will cry during sleep.  This confuses and upsets a lot of parents.  Because it appears your baby is upset, parents may think their baby is awake and go and pick them up.  Sometimes, if your baby is actually still asleep, it may wake him or her when you do this. If this happens it often makes your baby more distressed because he or she is now woken from a lovely comfortable sleep.

 

It is the same as if you or I are woken from a sleep. We often feel more groggy , regardless of how much sleep we have had, and it may take us a little while to focus and “get our head together”, so to speak.

 

The crying during sleep usually occurs when he or she is transitioning from REM sleep to a deeper form of sleep. It usually last no longer than about 5 minutes. In most occurrences it takes less than 2 minutes.  If you just wait a minute or two you may be surprised that your baby stops and continues to sleep more deeply all on their own.

 

This can be difficult for parents to understand because the cry during sleep can be a big loud  cry and seem like there is something wrong.  Of course if your baby is distressed and needs you to help then absolutely you need to respond.  Sometimes it takes parents a couple of times to stop and realise that maybe their baby is ok and have the confidence to wait a minute or two before going to help.

 

Other times when your baby will cry during sleep is if there is some form of discomfort from teeth, wind or other illness or injury. Of course give comfort when needed.

 

PS.  We always  encourage you  to respond to your baby crying if you know that your baby is distressed.

Getting rid of the dummy

[caption id="attachment_2387" align="alignleft" width="150"] baby sleeping with dummy[/caption]

 

So many parents struggle with how to get rid of their baby’s dummy. It seems each week I am asked this question.

 

As we have discussed, using a dummy to help soothe your baby can be helpful- when your baby is little. As with all well intentioned things or practices, sometimes the time that they are helpful or needed, comes to pass without our really noticing it and Hey presto , we have a problem where the dummy becomes the problem rather than the help.

 

Once this time comes and parents realise the dummy is no longer helpful but in fact the problem, it is really hard to change just because the baby is so dependent on using it. Remember anything we  do with our babies repeatedly becomes an ingrained habit for babies, toddlers and children.

 

It is a useful way to learn and it also helps give little ones that sense of security because they know what to expect.

 

When we want to change what they know- that becomes a harder task.  Any change to any habit is usually met with resistance- particularly young babies just because they cannot put into words what they may thinking or feeling.

 

Most babies will scream when any changes are made to habits and expectations that are really ingrained. Most parents, understandably, avoid this situation and inadvertently make any unhelpful habits even stronger. Remember a dummy is to soothe so when you are changing this we need to show your baby other ways to soothe and a firm calm cuddle is one of the best ways.

 

There are certainly  some techniques and principles to assist the transition of stopping the use of a dummy.  Clear communication, plenty of emotional support, planning and alternatives should be thought out before just stopping. This should help to ease the transition to life without  the dummy.

 

With careful planning and a concerted follow through getting rid of your baby’s dummy can be achieved with relative ease.

 

COMPETITION TIME

COMPETITION TIME

Be in the running to win this Sony Bloggie. It's compact and easy to take with you to capture those moments that you want to remember and share.  It takes video and still shots, easy to upload.

Here you go, if you'd love to win a Sony Bloggie to capture your little ones milestones,  head over to our facebook page and  like the post and comment 'yes' in the comments to enter! (Also, i would love it if you could share as well but not necessary to enter!)

Got to be in it to win it The lucky winner will be drawn at random on Friday the 28th of February.

(note: next months competition won't be this easy !!)

[caption id="attachment_2391" align="alignleft" width="150"] competition prize sony bloggie[/caption]

[caption id="attachment_2387" align="alignleft" width="150"] baby sleeping with dummy[/caption]

Is using a dummy for my baby really all that bad?

Using a dummy for your baby often brings up conflicting ideas and feelings. Most new parents have the firm idea that they are absolutely not going to use a dummy for their baby. 

Often the reality of life with a new baby is very different to their imagined life with a new baby and these are the very ones who quickly resort to using a dummy and feel guilty about it. Somehow they often feel like a failure or a bad parent for using a dummy.

 I think the emotional pull that you feel and the deep, deep tiredness are the two things that prospective parents grossly under estimate.  These are the two things that also mean that dealing with your crying baby is incredibly difficult.   When you take away the emotional element and the exhaustion it is much easier to be patient and work through why your baby is crying and calmly helping to soothe him or her.

 Baby dummies or pacifiers, can be a Godsend for those early days with a little baby.  Everything is new, you are sleep deprived and often feel overwhelmed with all the needs of a newborn.  Using a dummy can be such a helpful little tool for many when you are trying to get your head around life with a new baby.

  Dummies can absolutely be very helpful for your baby when that need to suck is particularly strong. For families where breastfeeding is not an option for whatever reason, the dummy can be doubly helpful. You see, very young babies  have a strong need to suck. Sucking is soothing for them . Breastfed babies often take longer to feed in the first few months.  Whereas bottles are downed in minutes  and so that need to suck often doesn’t get fulfilled as well for bottle feeding babies.   Dummies used appropriately , responsibly and not just to stop your baby crying, can be helpful. When they are misused  I do not advocate them at all.

 Of course there are also babies who just have a really strong need to suck – more than most. For all these babies a dummy can be the thing that saves everyone’s sanity- including your baby.

 Don’t get me wrong I am not advocating you use a dummy for all babies.  However, if it means  that life is more manageable in those first few weeks and months while you get used to adjusting to life with a new baby then I can see the benefit of it.  Having said that I also think it is your responsibility to wean off the dummy once it is practical to do so in your situation. As a minimum when  your baby can competently find his or her hands to help soothe is a valid consideration.

Once again, respecting and supporting parents considered choices and informed decisions is always encouraged first and foremost in any debate surrounding parenting choices. When working out whether, for you, is using a dummy for your baby really all that bad?, it is your decision and you can change your mind.

My baby sleeps through the night

My baby sleeps through the night.

 

It seems to be that the bar that all parents want to conquer is to get their baby to sleep through the night. Today I want to have a closer look at what exactly it means when your baby sleeps through the night.

 

I have had so many clients who say to me ” my friend” or “one of the playgroup mums” or “antenatal group mums”… someone who’s baby is the same age … “is sleeping through the night.”

 
They tell me with tears in their eyes and trepidation in their voice as if they are doing something wrong or somehow failing. My response each time I hear this is the same.

 
What exactly does that mean to you ?...and what exactly does that mean to her? - regardless of the age of their baby.
Once we get into this discussion, the things I want to know is what exactly does this mean. I want to know does their baby feed during the night? If their baby is 6 weeks of age and not waking for a feed overnight, then I want to know what does that person consider is night time?

 
For some, if they get 6 hours sleep in one go at night, they consider that sleeping through the night.
For others, getting 12 hours between feeds is sleeping through the night. For yet others still, their baby may wake for feeds a number of times at night but because they go to sleep straight away without fuss- they consider that sleeping through the night. Of course there are some basic average ages for when a baby may sleep through the night. There certainly are some babies who sleep through the night without waking for a feed at an age earlier than most others. These are usually the odd one out rather than the norm.

 
So next time you are comparing notes with some else about baby sleep and you are feeling like maybe you are doing something wrong- remember to really ask the sticky questions and not just accept it on face value. Once you really ask specific questions such as “so your baby goes for 12 hours without a feed and without waking?” The answer you get may be very different.

 

Now you know when someone tells you "my baby sleeps through the night" that it may not all be as it seems.

Best bottles and teats for breastfeeding

Best bottles and teats for breastfeeding baby.

I did this short video for you. It covers the main points to help you chose the best bottle and teat for your breastfeeding baby.