Three things that are vital to help an overstimulated, overtired baby or toddler

Your baby will at times become cranky and overtired.  This may be especially so during the ‘silly season’ when life is hot, hectic and exciting and  there are lots of festivities to attend. Even if your little one is a good sleeper, sleep can go a little pear shaped when life gets busy and there are so many things to think about and fit in.

 

Three vital steps to helping an overtired, overstimulated baby or toddler.

 

1. The first thing is to really look for early tired signs.

 

Yes I know we bang on about it but it really is one of the foundations for good sleep for all of us. I am a seasoned sleep pro and a self-aware adult - and even I feel it! When I am overtired, if I go to bed even half an hour later it takes me longer to go to sleep than when I feel like I am just tired. If I push myself past the point of being comfortably tired  too much I lay awake  waiting and praying for sleep.

 

I also notice this when I have had a few late nights in a row.  I wake up earlier and earlier in the morning feeling tired and wishing for sleep but my body just has a little trouble with it. It is easily fixed by going to bed earlier when I can. This is why your baby is inexplicably waking at 3am - he or she is just too tired to sleep well. Help them catch up on sleep and then watch carefully for early tired signs to prevent them getting overtired again.

 

2. Give your little one more opportunities for sleep in the day.

 

Even little bits of sleep are good- it all adds up. Often parents will debate whether it is worth putting a baby or toddler to bed when they will need to be woken to go out or go home. The answer is yes! Some sleep is better than no sleep!

 

Remember that overtired babies have a lot to work through before they can wind down and go to sleep.You may have to help your little one with sleep or your efforts at helping may make it worse.  Just work out which one works for your baby

 

3. Get into bed on time in the evening

 

Making sure you get your little one into bed on time in the evening is a big winner when things are out of whack.   This just allows  him or her to build the good restorative sleep that we get before midnight. It usually helps chunk on a big lot of catchup sleep relatively easily.

All our teaching with sleep has the aim that your baby will be portable with sleep  - able to go to sleep in different environment. There are individual differences and preferences and there certainly are some little ones who really like their own bed for sleep.

 

As your little one gets older and more inquisitive going to sleep when there is a lot of activity may be harder to get them to sleep. However please don’t just abandon efforts to give your little one a sleep when you are out and you see he or she is tired. Sometimes, with a bit of practice, sleep can happen when you are out and about for even the most inquisitive baby.

 

And a bonus tip, because it is Christmas after all!

 

4. Sometimes it pays to retreat for a day or two

 

Sometimes when all your efforts are not seeming to gain traction, you may need to spend a day or two at home and really catch up on sleep for both of you. It may mean that you  choose which events you attend or attend for a shorter time than you would usually. Or it may mean that you offer to host the event so that your baby can sleep in their bed and ask everyone to bring food so that the workload doesn’t fall on you.

 

Festive times do not mean that everyone has to suffer  when little ones find it hard to sleep. With a few of these tweaks it can be enjoyable for everyone. Keep in mind that if you’re feeling overwhelmed or tired your little one certainly will be. Give them all the help you can, follow these three simple steps and have a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Find out more about  how to help your little one when he or she is over tired or cranky at http://insyncwithinfants.com/baby-sleep/

Are your mornings starting earlier and earlier? Here’s why and what to do about it

Almost every baby  I know wakes earlier in the mornings as summer arrives and it gets lighter in the morning. The reason is partly earlier light- the sun is up earlier- hence biorhythms kick in earlier.

 

It’s our Natural body clock and biorhythms.

 

Remember we were once cavemen with no lights and no alarm clocks, so in those seasons when the sun was up earlier so were we. And the seasons it was dark earlier we also went to bed earlier. It’s those seasonal changes that we can adapt to and it is healthy to have differences in our day with the seasonal changes. Remember work long hours in harvest and rest more when it’s done. The birds know this - that’s why we hear them earlier in the lighter months too.

 

To get back on track we just need to set up habits and routines that say to your baby- It’s not time to get up out of bed yet. Your little one can be awake happily in their cot until it is time to start the day with a little practice.

 

If you want to start your day that early- that is fine. Do what works for your family.

 

Keep an eye on your little ones’ tired cues throughout the day. He or she may need  an extra nap if the day is really long due to an extra-early start.  Keep sleep a sacred part of your and his or her day. Staying on top of overall sleep will help combat this earlier waking too.

 

Get your insights into baby sleeping here at http://insyncwithinfants.com/baby-sleep/

The festive season, alcohol and breastfeeding

Christmas, New Years, Summer - December can be a hot, hectic time for everyone, especially babies and toddlers. It can be tricky when you are breastfeeding (especially breastfeeding newborns) and still wanting to join in festivities around this time of year.

 

Here are our top tips to breastfeed safely while indulging in a little Christmas cheer.

 

The recommendation is for no alcohol while you are breastfeeding. This is because
whatever is in your bloodstream also goes across to the breast milk. Think of your bloodstream and milk as being separated by a sort of mesh barrier. Some things get across the mesh easily some do not.

 

If you have a newborn or if you are feeding round the clock it is harder to fit in alcohol unless you “pump and dump” and give your baby a bottle of either expressed milk or formula. Once your baby is feeding through the day and having a long break through the night, a standard drink of alcohol can be accommodated more easily.

 

Generally we would allow 2 hours per standard drink to get out of your system (and out of your milk). So if your baby feeds at 6pm and then not again till 2 am, a drink with dinner now and then can be accommodated. You can plan ahead. If you know you are going to have a few drinks, say at a party, then you can express beforehand, maybe over a week or so, so that there is breastmilk available for your baby while you are out and possibly for after you get home, depending on the amount of alcohol you have consumed.

 

ALWAYS EAT GOOD FOOD

WHEN HAVING A DRINK.

 

Remember you may not have had a drink for quite sometime. Most mothers really feel the effects of alcohol when they haven’t had it for a while. Cautious drinking isn’t just good for your baby, it will help you to have an enjoyable time and avoid feeling unwell the next day.

 

There is more in depth information about this topic on the Australian breastfeeding association website www.breastfeeding.asn.au

 

Our breastfeeding ebook covers this and more get it here http://insyncwithinfants.com/breastfeeding/

Three hot tips to beat the heat at baby’s bedtime

Summer has arrived! I love the heat, long days, fresh foods and outdoor living that summer brings.There are downsides though, especially for little ones. Lots of parents come to Insync with Infants for help in summer with babies who won’t nap, who struggle to sleep through the night and wake up much too early. You don’t need to worry. Heat, humidity and longer days don’t have to spell disaster for your baby’s sleep! Follow these three hot tips to beat the heat at baby’s bedtime:

1 - Set up a cool sleep environment

By cool I don’t mean setting up a lava lamp and disco ball in the Nursery (they’re still cool, aren’t they?)! There are a number of simple things you can do to help your baby settle and sleep comfortably in the heat.

Bed clothes may not be needed at all- just a bottom sheet is probably all you need.

 

If your baby’s room is hot  for a lot of the day, consider moving your baby’s sleep place to a cooler room in the house.  Consider opening windows for air flow.  Perhaps an awning on the outside to shade a bedroom window

2 -  Air conditioning and fans

Fans and air conditioning can be a godsend on those really hot, still days when your energy feels zapped and you just don’t know what to do with yourself.   Be aware though that just because you enjoy the feeling of a fan blowing on your skin doesn’t mean your baby will.  And just because you enjoy sitting in 20 degree coolness doesn’t mean your baby will.

 

Sometimes your baby may react differently to what you like. I have known  babies to not enjoy a fan on or not enjoy air conditioning as much as their parents.  Less clothing may be all your baby needs to feel comfortable.

 

3 - Watch for early tired signs

Early tired signs seem to be the answer to everything… Because they are! In summer, especially in the ‘silly season’ there is so much going on that it can be easy to miss those crucial early tired signs. If your baby has been a pretty good or even an amazing sleeper and then is not  all of a sudden, it may be that in the excitement of the season your baby has become overtired again and getting to sleep is hard.  Catching early tired signs means that everyone can enjoy good times and that everyone can get good sleep again.

 

Get your insights into baby sleeping here at http://insyncwithinfants.com/baby-sleep/

The Golden rule of good grandparenting

The Golden Rule for being a fantastic grandparent is to listen!

 

This is my number one tip for a grandparent who wants to be a fantastic granparent. Listen to your children and grandchildren. The best way to be an important part of their lives is to be a good friend. And being a good friend means that you listen. Don’t make judgements. Just listen. They will cherish you more for just being there and hearing them more than anything else.  If they know that you will listen and not judge, you will be amazed at how much you will get to know about them. The more they trust the more they will open up to you.

 

Once a trusting relationship is there between you and your grandchilren, and your children in their new role you will find many opportunities to give tips, ideas, opinions and advice that is invited and valued.That sharing of wisdom that you are itching to give will be shared. If you can remember that this is their life and that they will make mistakes, and that it is not for you to stop them making mistakes necessarily, you will be a long way towards  building a strong relationship that lasts a lifetime.

 

We all want to be loved and accepted unconditionally. One of the ways of feeling that we are is that we have someone we trust to be on our side no matter what.  As a grandparent you can foster this privilege. Let them know that mistakes are ok. That they are loved despite mistakes. That mistakes help us learn. Just follow the golden rule of good granparenting: LISTEN!

The birth of new grandparents

New grandparents are just as excited as new parents when a baby is born. Especially the first one! Not to take it away from any of the other grandchildren that follow, but there is something special about the “firsts” of anything.

 

There are many things that are great about being a new grandparent. I have heard many parents who have become grandparents say "If I knew being a grandparent was this much fun, I would have done it first".

 

Grandparents get to do it all again. You get to have fun of children all over again, without all of the hard work. All of that parental responsibility rests with your children, it is not yours now. Grandparents can play and be silly and be ok with it because grandchildren are the perfect excuse.

 

All parents reflect on their experiences and would like to change a thing or two. Anything that you would have liked to do differently you may be able to get that chance with your grandkids. For some it’s not being so strict with food or enjoying messy play. For others it’s playing more and worrying about housework less. And for others it’s about having the expensive icecream and not the budget one. Grandparents get to enjoy all the fun and wonder of grandkids and hand them back at the end of the day and get a good night’s sleep.  This is perhaps the biggest bonus for most grandparents that I hear most often. A good night’s sleep is bliss.

 

New grandparents get to remember and relive life through the eyes of little ones when the world is wondrous, new and so exciting. Grandparents are often at a stage when they have the time to also appreciate the wonder of a caterpillar having so many legs. Of taking time to spend looking at one spider web because they don’t have to rush to work.  Even if you are a grandparent who does have to rush to work, prioritising ‘slow time’ with your grandchildren will be priceless. Taking time for those little things helps to be mindful, be present, and also to appreciate all the big  things in our lives.

 

One of the greatest gifts of being a grandparent is that there is a little person who loves you just as you are. A little person has complete acceptance of you as the person you are when they know that you are accepting of him or her just as they are. Being a friend gives great rewards.  The trust that comes is priceless and builds a strong relationship that lasts. When you are a true friend, you will be given opportunities to share all that wisdom you have inside of you.

 

New grandparents have all this in front of them to enjoy.

 

The awesome importance of being a grandparent

The importance of being a grandparent can never be underestimated. It is an awesome role that can prove an incredible blessing in the lives of generations. Grandparents are important.

 

Why are grandparents so important? Because grandparents have knowledge, experience and wisdom.  They have lived life and seen and done many things.  They have come full circle and usually realise that life is meant to be fun. Grandparents (be they younger or older) want to have fun.

 

Most importantly grand parents usually love grandchildren unconditionally and usually don’t have the responsibility of doing the hard parenting stuff.  They love us as we are and can feel like a friend rather than a boring adult.

 

Grandparents get to do all this fun stuff with grandkids but not have the  responsibility that parenting brings. This can help grandparents develop loving, trusting relationships with grandchildren that can allow the sharing of wisdom and guidance through example and explicit teaching across a grandchild’s life. Grandparents can be the subtle mediator when parent and child lock horns, knowing and loving both parties. Grandparents can be the difference between resolving a family conflict and conflict getting out of hand.

 

Have you ever hear the expression, ‘can’t see the wood for the trees’? Sometimes parenting is a bit like that. Grandparents have the advantage of seeing their child and grandchild from a slight distance and this can allow for objective, loving help.

 

Most of us have had the privilege of meeting our grand parents, however sadly for some this was not possible or didn’t happen. Preserving memories or traditions can be a great way to keep passed grandparents in the lives of their grandchildren. Tell their stories, use their sayings, bake their recipes, little things that add up to another loving presence in the life of a child.

 

Grandparents have an awesome role to play in families. The influence of a loving grandparent can bless the lives of their children and grandchildren, bringing love, fun, help and harmony to the family.

Role of grandparents in family- The 5 essential qualities of every fantastic grandparent

The importance of grandparents is often something we don’t stop and think about. Most of us adored our grandparents. There is something special about their role and the relationship they have with grandchildren. Families are blessed when grandparents can take a role in the lives of children, adding to the ‘villiage’ required to raise a child.

Becoming a grandparent is an exciting time, but also a daunting one. Our own grandparents were always wrinkly, kind and fun, weren’t they? How does one become a fantastic grandparent? Not being a grand parent myself I am writing this article (and others this month) from the point of view of being a grandchild and from the collective wisdom of the Insync with Infants community, feedback from grandparents themselves and new parents whose children now have grandparents.
There are five essential qualities that every fantastic grandparent possesses:

1.Fun - A great sense of fun makes a great grandparent!   No-one enjoys the company of a dreary, negative influence. Have fun with your grandchild. You get to play again and it’s accepted. We all love playing It’s gives us life and makes us lighter and more enjoyable to be around. Your children are responsible for the hard stuff - for the parenting. You get to enjoy little children without the responsibility of discipline etc. You have the perfect excuse to be a kid again. Enjoy and have fun with them.

2. Authenticity - take the pressure off and let the real you shine.
Anyone who is trying to be something or someone they are not is really unattractive. Little ones are so clever, they see through ingenuousness in a flash. Be yourself with your grandkids. Share your interests and hobbies. If you try to be too hip, too modern or something you are not, it will fall flat. Just be yourself and your grandchildren will love you as you are. That’s unconditional love.

3. Storytelling- share your history and your life today.
Grandchildren are often fascinated by old people. From saggy skin to walking sticks, funny clothes and false teeth, grandparents can be an enigma to children. Share photos of when you were young. Share stories of when you were young. They will get a laugh out of funny hairstyles and clothes from your younger days and marvel at the way the world used to be. Perhaps you don’t look or smell like a traditional grandparent. You still have stories! Embarass your children by telling your grandchildren stories from their youth! Pass on the stories your grandparents told you!

4. Openness - always listen, be open and forgiving of grandchildren.
One of the best ways to foster a relationship with your grandchildren is for them to know that they can trust you. That if you tell them something big, you are not going to judge them. Remember, they are learning their way through life. They are going to make mistakes, probably the same ones you did. It is just learning. Be a good friend and just listen. You may have to listen for an hour and monitor your response, but if you just listen and reserve judgement you will be amazed at how much more your grandchildren will open to you. Remember you are not the parent.

5. Reserve - only give advice when asked!
This must be the hardest thing of all for grandparents to do for their children. When you can see objectively something that could be easier just because you have lived it, it can be really hard to hold your tongue and not offer words of wisdom. By all means speak up if you are asked. However, as with all of us, advice that is offered without request can ruffle feathers. To build the relationship with your children as parents be a good listener and offer advice/ideas/ opinions only if you are asked.

Toys for Baby

 

Toys for your baby is a topic that will come up very soon if it hasn’t already. Christmas is almost here. Well it is still a couple of months away but if we get down to nitty gritty- it’s only about 8 weeks - give or take a few days. The shops are already starting to get their christmas groove on. I think it is way too early for that yet, however, it happens each year and it seems to get earlier each year.

 

I am a “close to the time” sort of girl with getting things done.  One year I was all organised and had all my shopping done by the beginning of December and guess what?  I went and got more presents because I saw more things that I thought people would enjoy.

 

Those of you who know me well, know that I am much more impressed by the thought that goes into presents and gifts than the price tag. I am a firm believer and practiser of less is more when it comes to presents.

 

It can be easy to get carried away with all the lovely things out there for sale for your little ones. Marketers love babies because they make people buy things.

 

When it comes to toys or presents for your baby- remember your baby doesn’t know about Christmas or birthdays. I don’t mean to say don’t celebrate. Absolutely celebrate- celebrate big- Make it a big, wonderful occasion and let them know how wonderful, talented, gifted, special and loved they are. This is important.

 

What is not so important is thinking that giving him or her more presents or bigger presents means more to him or her than you do.

 

Little babies, particularly, would rather have you to play with than any toy going around. Even toddlers and older children get more joy and memories from spending time with you than when you buy him or her an expensive present. Years down the track, he or she will remember the time spent with you when…

 

So this christmas, bear this in mind when it comes to “spending” for your little ones. Perhaps think about the amount you spend, and what you spend on when buying toys for your baby. Little ones get just as much pleasure from  banging saucepan lids, or shaking a rice filled jar (secured lid of course), or even the wrapping paper may be more fun for some.

 

The type of toys that usually engage your little one more are the ones where they explore and learn. Toys with lots of things going on entertain for a short a time. Toys that last longest are ones that engage your little one. Usually the simple ones last longest.

 

When you are thinking about toys for your baby this christmas, with flashing lights, moving parts, funny noises etc, how many does your little one really need?

 

Our webinar this month covered ideas for play for your baby ages 0-8 months. If you would like a copy of the recording please contact leisa@insyncwithinfants.com to arrange your copy.

Playing with your Newborn - changes with maturity

Playing with your baby is something that confuses and confounds parents at times.  They often feel that  they seemingly just work out what their baby needs and wants and then it doesn’t work any more. The number of times I have heard this in frustration from parents is infinite.

 

Babies mature fairly slowly in comparison to other animals. Animals in the wild really need to mature quickly for survival.  We tend to be dependent on our adults for survival for longer. However that doesn’t mean that human babies learn less or more slowly. Human babies are learning much more broadly and are taking in more than is obvious.

 

Babies routines and behaviours will change fairly rapidly in the first few months. For example, the first day your baby will be fairly sleepy, second day feed all the time and 3rd day milk comes in so babies feed more calmly and less often again.

 

Newborns pretty much only feed and sleep for the first 7-10 days, maybe 2 weeks if you are lucky then start to wake up and let you know that he or she is here.  What used to work often doesn’t work any more for settling and maybe even feeding.

 

Then you work out your baby, get into a new routine and then 6 weeks hits and another change in behaviour. He or she is more alert again, now smiling and wanting to interact with you. If you haven’t thought it before, many parents are now thinking ‘why doesn’t my baby know when it’s time to go to sleep and just go to sleep?’ Because things have changed and you as the parent have to help your baby learn his own body signals and teach him or her what he wants is not necessarily what he needs.

 

One of the things a lot of parents do without knowing it is they tire out their baby with a lot of play.

 

When your baby starts to respond and interact with you more it is easy to get caught up in the excitement of it and miss the signs that your baby is tired and ready for a break. These are often fleeting as your baby gets older and are easily missed.

 

Playtime is fun and one of the activities that you want to enjoy because it brings everyone so much joy. It is helpful to be mindful of watching for that your baby doesn’t get over tired and thus harder to settle because of it.

 

So yes things will change with maturity, however as you get to know your baby more you will be more in tune with him or her and be able to work it out. It will take time and it won’t be a magic answer but you will do it. You know your baby better than you think. If you take the time to observe it will become easier. Enjoy playtime with your baby and bear in mind  those signs that your baby shows to say “I need a break now”.

 

For ideas about signs that your baby has had enough get our sleep ebook- it tells you all about early tired signs. "

When playtime is not needed

Every parent wants to sleep well at night. Critical to good night sleep is setting up really good habits in the evening routine. When your baby is newborn until about 6-8 weeks evenings can be really tricky and hard work. This is normal and is just your baby’s immaturity. The effort you put into a consistent, calm evening routine will eventually be rewarded!

 

The witching hour, the arsenic hour, trouble time. Babies are often unsettled in the evening. Theoretically there are a number of things contributing to these unsettled times. Breastmilk supply is lower at this time of the day, everyone is tired at the end of the day (yes, even after all those naps), and it can be a busy time of the day for the family with dinner, baths, homework, planning for next day and dealing with frazzled temperaments from tiredness.

 

Most newborns just want to be held at this time of the day. He or she may want to suckle all the time. Remember sucking is soothing so this is perfectly normal. This is often called ‘cluster feeding’. All this behaviour will pass once baby matures (in weeks and months, not years!).

 

Once your baby matures past needing constant cuddles in the evening, evening routines can be started. Evenings routines that are helpful include dinner, bath, story, milk*, bed. Once you start your evening routine aim for no playtime. This seems like a drag but can make all the difference in the world to your night time . When little ones get into bed on time and know what to expect things usually run much smoother.

 

When the arsenic hour hits remember that your baby is not complaining that they are bored. Make sure that well meaning friends and relatives don’t try and stop the baby from crying by entertaining and playing. Babies do not need play in the evening. They need a calm, predictable bedtime routine and lots of support to work through the stresses of the day, relax and go to sleep.

Our webinar last month was on being with your baby when crying. If you would like to purchase a copy email us here and we will organise it for you. Go here or send an email to leisa@insyncwithinfants.com

* Remember last week I wrote about feed, play, sleep and not using feeding as a sleep cue? Having a feed just before bed as part of the evening routine is okay. Feeding to sleep usually does not interfere with night time settling. The problem is if your baby relies on feeding for sleep at every sleep time. The one for the evening is okay - enjoy that lovely cuddle time together.

Feed-Play-Sleep

Feed-play-sleep is a parenting mantra that is misunderstood by many! This concept came about to give new parents a framework to help manage their baby’s care and to give some sort of routine to their day.

The concept is for those who really need some sort of structure in their lives to help them make sense of their day (the parent I am talking about here).

 

Most new parents arrive home from hospital with their baby, look at each other and ask, “now what?” Feed-play-sleep is the answer.

 

Basically Feed-play-sleep is a way to separate feeding from sleep for newborns so that feeding is not a strong cue that your baby becomes reliant on for sleep. Babies are learning from birth. The order of their day is something that some babies learn quickly, while others are more flexible.

 

Some babies who learn that feeding comes before sleep can have difficulty sleeping. These baby’s parents struggle to help their baby get adequate restful sleep. Because feeding has become a sleep cue their baby wakes frequently with a short sleep cycle and thinks he or she needs to feed to go back to sleep again.

 

Hence Feed-play-sleep came about to help parents manage their routine for better outcomes for all.

 

Baby gets better quality sleep and learns helpful habits for sleep, gets really good feeds at feed time and is happier. Parents are not feeling like they are always turning around to feed or put baby to sleep.

 

Feed-play-sleep is not something that all parents use or resonate with. As with everything we discuss at Insync with Infants- it is another concept that is available to help you make sense of life with a new baby when lots of things just don’t make sense yet.

 

Feed-play-sleep can be confusing because your baby will not always feed every time he or she is awake. This is the bit that often causes confusion and frustration. As your baby grows and matures, the number of feeds a day often reduces. As your baby learns about sleep separately from feeding he or she will also have some times when he or she will have a short sleep, have a short play time and have a another sleep without the need for feeding. In all of these instances just follow your baby’s lead. As you learn their behaviours it will become easier.

 

If you would like some practical assistance, tailored to you, Insync with infants has home visits or skype consults available to help you with this confusing time.

 

Please email us your enquiry at Leisa@insyncwithinfants.com.

 

 

Playing with your Newborn

One of the things that can be confusing and tricky for new parents is all the toys, helpful tools and stuff out there for newborns and toddlers.  One area that can be really confusing for parents is toys and what is appropriate for play.

 

Newborn babies are wired for survival and learning. Their senses are turned on so that they can learn as much as they can from their surroundings as quickly as possible. Their brains are wired for learning. The tricky part of this is that newborns get overstimulated very easily because of this.

 

This is a really confusing thing for a lot of new parents.  Usually you are so in love with this new baby that you just want to shower  him or her with affection and positive vibes and joy and everything else.  Unfortunately your baby can only cope with a short amount of stimulation and quite quickly get over stimulated which looks like an unhappy and cranky baby.

 

Your baby doesn’t need much at all in the way of toys etc. It is probably more for our benefit to think we need to provide all this stuff. The best play thing for your baby is you. Your newborn gets enough stimulation just from the touch, sound of your voice and movement that he or she receives from the care that you give throughout the day and night.

 

Sure as your baby grows and matures toys come into play more. When your baby is moving around the floor, more interested in surroundings, reaching more etc, toys will be more important. However you are still the most important part of your babies toy room.

 

My message is that your baby doesn’t need all those things that marketing makes us believe  are important. Pretty much less is more when it comes to your baby.  You are enough and the perfect plaything for your baby.

When over tired

In previous weeks, we’ve talked about the importance of catching early tired signs and that there are early and late tired signs. We have also touched on how your baby is affected by too little sleep or missing early tired signs.

 

Today I’d like to talk a little about what happens when your baby is overtired. Usually this is when most people think it is normal to put your baby to sleep. And yes, you will have to put your baby to sleep when he or she is overtired.

 

When you have caught the early tired signs you can give your baby the opportunity to self settle. When your baby is over tired that is probably not realistic to expect. At least not with young babies. Older babies who know about sleep may be able to go off to sleep for themselves when over tired if they know how.

 

When your baby is over tired he or she is so wound up and over stimulated and overwhelmed that he or she just can’t unwind enough to relax for sleep. Your baby doesn’t know that he or she is overtired, they just know they feel crappy and need you to help him or her feel better.

 

It may take up to half an hour or so for your baby to unwind. It may take longer. Generally we expect at least 20 minutes, then another 10-15 minutes to relax and then another 10 minutes or so to get to sleep. That is a normal expectation when your baby is over tired. It may even be a little longer.

 

When you are helping your baby to sleep be prepared to have to last the distance. Expecting your baby to be asleep after 5 or 10 minutes when over tired is usually unrealistic. If you calmly persevere in helping your baby you will usually achieve sleep of some sort however be prepared for it to be a short one and to have to repeat what you have just done to help build more sleep.

 

We’re here to help if your baby’s sleep is confusing you, if it's “hard work” all the time or if it could use some tweaking


And make sure to follow Insync with Infants on Facebook for more tips and hints on great baby sleep. (click here)

What’s all the fuss about early tired signs?

Early tired signs are now well known to be one of the important points to your baby settling more easily for sleep.

 

Why is it important to catch early tired signs?

 

At the stage of early tired signs your baby is still happy and relaxed. Once late tired signs kick in usually your baby is less relaxed, feels more uptight and as a result needs more from you to help him or her relax again in readiness for sleep.

 

When you see early tired signs your baby will still look happy and relaxed. This usually trips people up because they think “ oh he (or she) isn’t tired yet, he’s still smiling and happy”.

 

It is also important to know that there is only a short window of time between early tired signs and late tired signs. When you see late tired signs your baby is actually over tired. When your baby is over tired he or she usually needs some form of help to get to sleep.

 

The important part about early tired signs is that your baby has a better chance of going to sleep on his or her own and not needing any help. This is really important for that easy sleep we are all after in little ones. It is easier to go to sleep when you are relaxed than when you are over tired. So yes it is important to catch early tired signs.

How do sleep cycles affect your baby's sleep?

Most of us are aware of sleep cycles. As adults we have learned to sleep from one cycle to the next
without any fuss or trouble.

 

The exception may be if it is raining heavily outside or storming, a dog is barking or there is something very different to normal happening at night. this is when we may wake up between sleep cycles and check out what is going on. As adults we usually can go back to sleep easily.

 

Your baby also has sleep cycles. Newborns have quite short cycles- as short as 20 minutes. As your baby grows the sleep cycles lengthen gradually. Babies often wake up between cycles and this is a normal part of newborns. It doesn’t always mean they have to be entertained when he or she wakes, just that it is the break form one cycle to the next.

 

The waking that you see between short cycles is not always actual waking. With newborns, that waking may just be a light sleep between cycles. This is the bit that often trips people up:

 

New parents are so in love with their baby and so committed to be the best parent they can, not harming their baby and ensuring their baby gets everything they could possibly need, parents often inadvertently misinterpret light sleep for wake and wake up their baby when they probably needed to go back to sleep and weren’t really awake at all.

 

This can be really tricky and can be quite confounding to begin with. As time goes on it will be easier to work out when your baby needs to go back to sleep and when he or she is ok to stay awake for some play or talk time.

Are day time and night time really that different for baby sleep?

Does your baby seem to fight day sleep, refusing to nap?
Have you heard that you absolutely MUST make your baby’s day and night sleep very different so that he or she learns the difference between day and night sleep?
Have you tried to make day and night different and it is still not working?

 

Babies with mixed up sleeping patterns, partying all night and napping all day, are a common problem for new parents. I often hear new parents say they have to make day and night sleep different for the baby. They want their babies to know the difference between night and day to help everyone have a good, restful nights sleep.

If you are trying to make day and night sleep different for your baby - STOP!

Your energy is better spent in other ways.

 

You don’t need to do things differently for day and night sleep

Being consistent about sleep is more important. Sleep routines and sleep cues help to get your baby to sleep easily and in a more reliable pattern. Your baby already can tell there is a difference between day and night just from different noises and noise levels, activity levels, light and dark and temperature to name a few.You already do things differently at night to day. There is no need to make a bigger issue out of it.

 

Have you heard these common myths about day sleep, naps and night sleep?
- She is sleeping too much! That’s why she doesn’t sleep at night!
- He won’t sleep because he’s bored! You need to wear him out during the day!

 

These baby sleep myths need to be busted. Your baby needs lots of good day sleep to sleep well at night. Babies don’t get bored, but they do get overstimulated easily. Both of these myths lead to overtired, overstimulated babies who don’t sleep well at night. Understanding sleep will help when well meaning friends and relatives offer this kind of advice to improve your baby’s sleep.
Learn more about Baby Sleep Click here

Why doesn’t anyone talk about the ‘ how’ of bottle feeding?

Why doesn’t anyone talk about the ‘ how’ of bottle feeding?

[caption id="attachment_2553" align="alignleft" width="150"] breastmilk Dad feeding[/caption]

 

Breastfeeding and the benefits of breast milk are becoming more and more accepted and promoted worldwide. There have been and still are a number of initiatives to increase the number of women breastfeeding.

 

But where are the campaigns to educate formula feeding mums on safe and healthy feeding? The feeling is that formula and bottle feeding is now taboo and any education around it is frowned upon. So how did this come about when only a few years ago formula feeding was the norm?

 

The World Health Organisation, Unicef, Ottowa charter, IBFAN and many more organisations, committees and groups are doing their best to increase breastfeeding rate worldwide. As a part of this push there have been many programs and initiatives developed to promote and support breastfeeding. These organisations are attempting to undo the myths and  inaccuracies ingrained in thinking about infant feeding that came into being with the industrial age. Before we got better with research and expanding our knowledge about breastmilk and breastfeeding the myth that formula was better for babies took hold.

 

As a part of this breastfeedings push the ‘Baby Friendly Hospital Initiative’ was developed. This was mainly to assist birthing units to encourage breastfeeding. One of the guidelines on this initiative is to have no promotion of bottle feeding or formula at all. As a consequence of this any teaching about how to bottle feed, including cleaning bottles, and choosing formula was also stopped as a routine part of postnatal teaching.

 

Breastfeeding rates have increased. Many more women are commencing breastfeeding with every intention to sustain it. However, these women are coming up against challenges that they find hard to overcome, so breastfeeding continuation rates drop rapidly when women and their babies go home from hospital. Because of short post-birth hospital stays, women are often home alone with little support or expert knowledge to draw on to help manage  and understand normal changes in  breastfeeding development (here is last week's article http://insyncwithinfants.com/when-your-milk-isnt-good-enough-myth-or-truth/ ).

 

They feel overwhelmed and have no idea how to manage these changes, are exhausted and just want to make sure their baby is getting what  he or she needs. Hence they  reach for  need for bottles and possibly formula (our previous  webinar re: quittingis still available for  small fee). These women feel added pressure of trying to make the best choices without any guidelines as to which formula or bottles and teats to choose for them.

 

Even if you choose to not breastfeed from the beginning, there is limited trusted education around because of the “taboo” choice of formula feeding.

 

The hospital system and related pre/post natal support services really do not support new mothers very well at all. Both expecting perfection of them and not providing the expert support and education to support them through decision making and learning in a complex,  highly politically correct and pressured world.

 

Insync with Infants believes that babies need to eat - whether from a breast, a bottle or a little of both. For support with breastfeeding, formula feeding, mixed feeding or introducing solids visit here to find out how we could help you too    -  http://insyncwithinfants.com/in-home-services/

When your milk isn’t good enough- Myth or truth??

[caption id="attachment_2549" align="alignleft" width="150"] Breastmilk is always good[/caption]

Many years ago, I went to followup and support one of my very first breastfeeding clients. The day before I had spent hours helping her with breastfeeding, educating her about how it works and basically aiming to grow her confidence in breastfeeding as she hadn’t breastfeed her first 3 children and wanted to give this a go.

 

The next morning she opened the door of her house with “binding” around her breasts.

Why?

Her mother had arrived the night before to help and told her her milk wasn’t good enough and she had to stop the milk and give her baby bottles of formula. This was on about day 5 or 6 of life.  I felt like crying and yelling at the same time- Of course I did neither- just kept my cool and accepted her decision and tried to inform both of them about breastmilk and breastfeeding, (she had a great supply too), which fell on deaf ears.

 

So many times I have heard this statement-” I had to stop because my milk wasn’t good enough”.  This is a myth. There is absolutely no truth to this statement. Any breastmilk is good. It would have to be the greatest health food on the planet.

 

Talk about super foods??? This is the number one super food of all.  Nothing in my mind can match it.

 

It has antioxidants, antibodies, growth hormones. It has every vitamin, mineral and trace element that a human being needs to not only survive but thrive.

 

Breastmilk is made with all the right ingredients in all the right proportions.  For someone to say it is not good enough is inaccurate- it is simply not true.

 

If a mothers body is low in some nutrition , her body may reduce the volume available, but what is available will always have what her baby needs in it. We can adjust the fat content, toxins and flavours by adjusting the woman’s diet, but breastmilk is always made at the right recipe for optimal nutrition for your baby.

 

It may appear blue, grey or like dirty dishwater at times- this is all ok. Breastmilk is never off  and always good enough.

Balancing breast & bottle feeding

[caption id="attachment_2544" align="alignleft" width="150"] balancing breast and bottle feeding[/caption]

When breastfeeding just doesn’t go to plan, it can be really frustrating for the mother and the family. So many times I hear women say I had to give up because I didn’t have enough milk.

 

 

There seems to be this belief that their baby either does breast or bottle feeding.  This is not the case- you can do both.  Just because you have a low supply doesn’t mean you have to choose one or the other. You can do both.

 

 

When this is the case, we do talk about thinking about breastfeeding differently. It does involve some mindset adjustments to change the way you think about giving your best for your baby.

 

Usually we talk about satisfying your baby with formula (or donor breastmilk if you have that luxury) and then breastfeeding is for topups, soothing, comforting, a drink, dessert,  or an entree, an in between or overnight snack. So instead of relying on breastfeeding to satisfy your baby, your baby still gets whatever you can give but also receives calories to sustain his or her growth and development as well.

 

This can take a little work and a little perseverance as with all things worthwhile.

 

 

This is of course your choice and for some women their home life demands make this difficult to sustain. However I have helped so many women do just this thing.

 

So instead of feeling like a failure as a mother because their supply was low( for any number of different reasons) these women felt fantastic because they were giving their baby as much breastmilk as they could  for as long as they could while ensuring they received enough calories for growth and development.

How to feel good about not breastfeeding

It’s World breastfeeding week.  I thought I’d do some articles relating to this theme for this month- just to change it up a bit.

 

Breastfeeding is one of those things that seems to either go well or not so well. Increasingly it seems that there are more stories of hardship with breastfeeding than not.

 

[caption id="attachment_2309" align="alignleft" width="150"] breastfeeding tips[/caption]

I have thoughts on this  but that is another topic for another day.

 

Did you start thinking that you would absolutely breastfeed?  Did you hold your baby in your arms and try and try to breastfeed? Did you persevere through sore, cracked, or bleeding nipples?  Did you persevere through a cranky baby who struggled to gain weight? who just didn’t settle?, maybe he or she developed jaundice from not enough milk? Did you pump and use herbs and medication?

 

Did you persevere for as long as you possibly could before your family imploded from the stress of trying so hard?

 

Did you give your baby as much breastmilk a possible for as long as possible?

 

Perhaps it wasn’t a supply issue. Perhaps it was related to previous trauma or life experience that made it impossible for you to breastfeed your baby. These are all real and valid reasons for breastfeeding not to work.  Any stress can impact breastfeeding to the point of supply disappearing overnight.

 

Did you fight the inevitable decision to stop breastfeeding for your own and your baby’s well being. Perhaps the well being of your family as well?

When you came to that decision all kicking and screaming knowing it was not what you wanted to do but felt there was no alternative, did you cry floods of tears when you ultimately made that decision ?

 

Did you do your best for the best outcome for your family?

 

Then I give you permission to not feel bad about not breastfeeding.

Best time to think about routines or habits for healthy baby sleep

Best time to think about routines or habits

[caption id="attachment_2460" align="alignleft" width="150"] sleeping baby[/caption]

Best time to think about routines or habits is once you get over the newborn adjustment phase and things are starting to settle down a little. For most new parents this is anywhere between about 3 and 8 weeks. For some it is even longer. There is no blanket right time for anyone- just when is right for you.

 
When I say think about , that is what I mean,- just start thinking about it. What is it you want for your routine in your day and what do you need for that to happen- realistically.

 
Of course we’d all love to have the nanny, cook, cleaner and general helper. Wouldn’t that be great- just like all those famous people do. Even if you could have just one of these just for one or two hours a week or month may be the answer for you.

 
It is individual so please don’t feel pressured into getting a routine as a lot of new parents do. This usually comes from well meaning others and is usually their way of trying to be supportive, show their interest and be helpful.

 
Most babies fall into a routine as you both fall into a pattern and learn about each other. For sleep, once the startle reflex has disappeared, it is more realistic to expect any routine to fall into place. Some will establish a routine as early as 3 months and sometimes sooner, others will take longer. Generally, the best time to really help your baby into routines or habits is between the ages of about 4 to 6 or 7 months of age.

 
Remember they are very clever little beings with skills and abilities that surprise us.

Healthy sleep habits

[caption id="attachment_2114" align="alignleft" width="150"] Early tired signs[/caption]

 

We have already talked about habits or routines. There are routines for bathing, feeding, changing and sleep to name a few. Mostly everything we do has developed into a pattern of activities whether you realise it or not.

It is possible to start developing helpful sleep habits from early days home from hospital. Most parents find this easier to do with second or third baby just because with the first one it is such a huge change to your daily life that trying to do this from day one is quite overwhelming.

 

Flexibility  and consistency is key. Generally if you have an idea of what you’d like  your baby’s sleep habits to be from birth that is great. If you remain flexible with it but still have the main goal in mind you will get there.

 

Newborns are immature and all sorts of things affect them- some we don’t even realise. Expecting your baby to fit into your idea of what he or she should do at any given time will probably end up in tears.

 

Healthy sleep habits are those that fit in with natural principles of sleep, are respectful of individuals and are activity based rather than strict and rigid.  It includes choice of bedding and sleep clothing, the environment for your baby to sleep in and timing of sleep so your baby is as relaxed as possible to go off to sleep rather than over tired, overwhelmed, over stimulated and cranky and so needing a lengthy time to unwind before going to sleep.

 

Healthy sleep habits often mean the difference between peaceful, restful sleep  resulting in a relaxed happy baby and a cranky baby who struggles with sleep every time. When your baby is relaxed and happy often so is everyone else.

Sleep associations & healthy baby sleep

Sleep associations

 

[caption id="attachment_2523" align="alignleft" width="150"] healthy baby sleep[/caption]

 

When we talk about healthy sleep, how sleep works and how to maximise sleep for anyone not only your baby, knowing about sleep associations is an important part of it all.  Knowing about sleep associations will help you trouble shoot sleep problems and get you the sleep you are after.

Sleep associations come into play in light sleep states. Generally if what was happening when you  went to sleep isn’t happening in light sleep, you will usually wake up because the trigger for sleep isn’t there any more. This is a sleep association.

Basically the thing that is associated with sleep usually needs to be there  at light sleep to give that signal that it is still sleep time. Remember light sleep is usually just a lighter consciousness ideally, Not a complete wake up.

For your baby the same applies.  This is often one of the main reasons that  your baby may at times wake up after a short time and need help to get back to sleep again.

Once your baby knows about sleep  this is not such a big factor. When learning about sleep it is a bigger influence.

Sleep associations can be termed helpful or unhelpful. As long as they are working they are helpful. When they are not, they are unhelpful.  Sleep associations can start out being helpful and then change into being unhelpful after a time.  As your baby grows and matures what once was helpful may become unhelpful. This is how some sleep difficulties inadvertently come around.

 

Young babies will usually require a number of  things to help him or her sleep. When you use a number of things for sleep some of them may eventually be unhelpful and some will always remain helpful.  If there are a few associations we can wean off the unhelpful ones when they are no longer helpful. In this way you still have helpful ones so you are not trying to start something new at a time that is stressful for everyone.

Night time routine

Night time routine

[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignleft" width="150"] night time sleep routine[/caption]

 

Most new parents find their baby’s night time wakings a rude shock to the system.  They quickly find out that the tiredness you experience as a parent is very different to the tiredness you feel as a partying young adult with no children. As a parent there is no night off, and no sleep in the next day either! Think about going out partying late into the night every night and then getting up to go to work and trying to perform at your job - every day. You would probably not be looking, feeling or performing at your best.  Sleep deprivation can impact on your mood, health, judgement, decision making and so many other important skills. Any parent will tell you there are no days off, so it is essential to minimise the disruption to a good night’s sleep.

 

Babies are immature little beings who wake at night for any number of reasons, importantly they need night feeds until around six months of age. We understand this and accept it.  You can streamline night time wakings by developing night time habits that assist everyone to go back to sleep easier.

 

Five top tips to minimise night time waking:

 

1. Swaddling - Swaddling newborns if they are in their own cot or bassinet is the number one tool to help babies sleep at night.  This would be our most important habit to use to help your night time get better.

 

2.  Low lights - Only turn on the light if you really need to. Keep lights down low so that you keep baby as drowsy as possible so that he or she hopefully settles easily at the end of the feed.

 

3. Avoid changes -  Only change nappy if you need to. If you are using disposables be aware they are designed to soak up a lot of fluid. Your may be able to go all night comfortably without a change.

 

4. Quiet - Use a gentle, calm, soft and quiet voice and keep talking to a minimum.

 

5. Avoid play time at night -   Remember just because your baby is ready for play doesn’t mean you have to play with them. Let your baby play if he or she wants- you don’t have to join in. There is plenty of opportunity to play during the day. By reducing stimulation it encourages your baby to settle back to sleep easier.
There are a number of habits you can employ to foster a helpful nighttime routine. These top tips are a great place to start. For more information get one of our resources here-    http://insyncwithinfants.com/baby-sleep/

What is a sleep routine?

[caption id="attachment_2513" align="alignleft" width="150"] What is a sleep routine[/caption]

 

Do you cringe when you hear the word “routine” in regard to babies? In the past strict rule-driven advice, particularly around sleep, has been associated with negative outcomes. That is not what we are encouraging any more. So if you love the idea of a baby routine you can stop feeling guilty!

 

When we talk about babies and routine people often have visions of strict time frames of when your baby will feed, sleep, bath, etc.   Really, a routine with your baby is more a pattern than a schedule. While it will certainly happen that sometimes you will do  the same thing with your baby at the same time, we’d prefer that you think of routines as patterns of activity rather than being held strictly to time. As your baby grows the timing will be more do able. However in the beginning, habits work better usually.

Why should you avoid a time based schedule for your baby?

 

Babies don’t know how to tell time!

 

If your expectation is to do the same thing every day at the same time with your baby, you may be setting yourself up for some unhappy and frustrating days. There will definitely be a few babies who are very laid back and fit into a time based pattern.  However it is our experience that this is the exception rather than the norm. Most times when you try to make your baby fit into a timeframe for your ideal day, the result is tears for both of you.

 

When we talk about a sleep routine  for your baby we are encouraging you to set up habits around sleep that create a predictable, familiar pattern for your baby rather than sticking to a strict time driven routine. Habits come about by doing the same thing over and over again. Most adults have developed habits around everything they do including washing, dressing, folding, packing, eating and yes even sleeping. Mostly we don’t even realise it.

 

Creating a sleep routine actually means setting up habits around sleep so that your baby knows that when you do certain things it is sleep time. When your expectation is shifted to a pattern of activity with some flexibility rather than a set time, your day usually flows better and life is easier.

Heating rooms in winter for snuggly baby sleep

Heating

[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignleft" width="150"] safe winter sleep[/caption]

 
Heating rooms in winter to take the chill off the air is a common practice for many parents and is also a common dilemma for many. This is mostly to keep the babies room at a constant temperature in an effort to ensure baby sleeps through the night. It is also nicer for the person going to the baby in the middle of the night if the room is a little warmer.
Is it necessary? In Australia - No.

Not unless you live somewhere where the temperature is constantly low and the building you are in is always cold.

 

Many avid campers go camping in cold weather and manage a baby well with appropriate clothing and layering.

 

Even though the air temperature may be low, if your baby is rugged up in swaddles and blankets and appropriate clothing there may be no need to heat the room.
If you do decide to heat the room, we would encourage you just to take the chill off the air not to heat it to a tropical summer island holiday type of temperature. Different seasons offer us different positives and experiences. Winter is no different. It is up to us to adapt.
Enclosed heating devices or reverse cycle air conditioners are the most preferred heating appliances mostly from a safety perspective and also from an energy efficiency consideration.
Heating a room using any means usually has the effect of dehydrating the room and anything in the room. People will often notice potplants needing a little more water. Adults will also notice that they are more thirsty or may even feel like they are hung over if the heating is too high and causes dehydration.

 

Something as simple as putting a bowl of cold water in the room that is heated may help towards stabilising the moisture content in the room.
Babies can easily dehydrate and if you are using even low level heating , may be a little more thirsty and may want to feed for a little longer or have an extra feed. It is realistic to expect this however it may not be noticeable.

 

If you do decide to heat the room in winter for snuggly baby sleep, I hope these ideas will help you.

Swaddling and blankets

[caption id="attachment_2506" align="alignleft" width="150"] snugly winter sleep[/caption]

 

 

Now that winter is here are you thinking - to swaddle or not to swaddle? How can I keep my wiggly baby warm and safe? Are blankets better and warmer than swaddling? Do you need to change what you are doing?

 

 

There is no need to change what you are doing if it is working for you. Remember this Insync with Infants mantra, “there is no problem unless it is a problem for you”. This is our standard advice with anything- if it isn’t broke, then don’t fix it!

 

 

Young babies under three months of age usually respond well to swaddling. We would continue this for as long as it is helpful. Generally a newborns startle reflex disappears around three months of age and any time after that that swaddling may not be as magical. It doesn’t mean you have to stop swaddling though. There are many seven, nine or even 12 month old babies who still enjoy being swaddled for sleep even though they may wiggle out of the swaddle before they go to sleep. For others babies swaddling may not have been helpful from a much younger age.

 

 

So, swaddle or blanket? Personal preference really. I personally think babies are warmer swaddled. They can have a number of layers of swaddling or have a swaddle and then a couple of layers of blankets over them and tucked under the mattress to keep them extra toasty. Blankets that are tucked under the edges of the mattress usually provide a little more warmth than if edges are not tucked.

 

 

It is equally ok to have just blankets. Blankets and swaddles should be made of natural breathable fibres. A number of layers of thinner fabrics works better and is warmer than one or two thick layers. Man-made synthetic fibres are generally not as warm as natural fibres that trap a layer of air next to the skin and keep the warmth next to our body more stable. Thinner layers also protect against overheating (a SIDS risk) by being breathable.

 

 

If your baby is in your bed with you a sleeping bag or blankets is better from a safety point of view than swaddling. When your baby is in your bed with you he or she gets warmth from you and generally stay warmer at a more steady temperature than if in their own cot or bassinet.

 

For most parents a combination of swaddling and blankets works well to help babies sleeping through the night in winter.

 

Follow Insync with Infants on Facebook for more tips and hints on great baby sleep in winter.

PS. Join our webinar Wednesday 18th JUne-8pm-   "Layering for warmth- best options for snuggly sleep". Click here to register-

https://www.eventbrite.com.au/e/layering-for-warmth-best-options-for-snuggly-sleep-tickets-11914575817

 

snugly winter sleep

Safe sleep in winter

[caption id="attachment_2188" align="alignleft" width="150"] safe winter sleep[/caption]

Many new parents worry about safe sleep in winter.

Is baby too hot? Too cold? Is she/he at risk of smothering or SIDS? There are so many ideas, tips and old wives tales out there that it can be confusing. Babies who don’t sleep well with the onset of cooler weather may be too hot or too cold. No surprises there, but how do you make sure your baby is snug and warm, not too hot and safe as well?
If your baby is too cold, he or she may just not settle and get into as deep a sleep as usual. He or she may wake a bit more frequently than usual. You may find feeding is a little more frequent as they attempt to get warmth from feeding (warm milk)and a cuddle.
IF too hot, an older baby will become sweaty and possibly cranky. A newborn usually doesn’t sweat and has limited ability to create warmth. He or she will become very red looking and cranky and will feel very hot.
Your baby’s head is a large surface area that is used for temperature regulation when too hot particularly. Your baby’s hands and feet can be a little cool and not be a problem. Hands and feet also have a large surface area to help with cooling if too hot. Usually as long as their torso feels toasty that is the main guide for warmth.

 

Safe winter sleep guidelines:

• Use breathable, natural fibre clothing and bedding, preferably fire retardant. ( natural fibers like cotton and wool are also warmer)
• Dressing and wrapping baby in layers of thinner fabrics is much more effective than using one or two thick layers
• Keep open flames or heating elements well away from curtains or where blankets may fall on them
• Always supervise when any heating device is in use around little ones
• Expect your baby to be a little more thirsty if the room is warmed

 

 

When the weather cools down the idea of snuggling in bed with your baby is even more attractive. However, with our knowledge of SIDS, many parents are scared of having their baby in their bed with them in case they roll on them or endanger them in some way. But with those uncomfortable cold winter nights where no-one wants to get out from under their covers the temptation to have your baby in bed with you, even for the last sleep stint before you get up in the morning, can be really enticing. In fact, many parents inadvertently fall asleep at that last feed of the night and wake up in the morning thinking, “Oh, I wasn’t going to do that.”
If you do find your baby in bed with you there are things you can do to minimise risks to your baby and ensure your shared bed is a safe sleep space. Make sure that:
• Your baby is on top of your covers and has his or her own bed clothes( a sleeping bag works really well)
• Your mattress or bedding is firm
• Only one adult is responsible for the safety and wellbeing of your baby
• Your baby is in bed with safe sleepers – no one affected by sleeping tablets, drugs or alcohol
If you plan on co-sleeping with your baby, or just end up co-sleeping as the weather cools down, be sure to read my article on co-sleeping here safe sleep space  for more tips.
Hopefully these tips will help you get your baby sleeping through the night with this onset of colder weather.

 

Safe sleep in winter is just as important as any other time.

Need more help with your baby’s sleep?  Purchase my baby sleep ebook HERE  or  if you want to find out how to enjoy awesome days and blissful nights with your baby  go here   to find out more.

 

Baby Sleeping AND have a Social Life that Works!!

Having your baby sleeping and having a social life is one of the things that seems impossible to new parents. Suddenly their ideas about what life with a new baby would be like is shattered with reality.

What they once thought would be easy; “it’s a baby, how hard can it be? They are so little, surely it’s not that hard?”, is not so easy in reality. The idea of getting out of the house with their baby often seems overwhelming.
Questions come up like: Is it ok to go out with my baby?
When should I go out?
How long is ok to stay out?
Should I just stay at home?
How do I breast/bottle feed/ get baby to sleep when we’re out?
How will I know if my baby is ok with going out?

It is not impossible. Here a few tips to help.

 

1. Take Baby steps.

When you first go out, make it a very short trip. Perhaps to a friend or family nearby. Then perhaps to the shops for bread and milk or something simple that won’t take long. Perhaps meet up with a friend for coffee. Build on longer outings as you gain your confidence.

2.  Wait until you are ready.

There is no timeline for when you have to go out with your baby. Most new parents go out with someone else to start with. Usually we encourage you to wait until you feel more confident with feeding and handling your baby. Get comfortable with the basics first, then consider going solo in public with your baby.

3. Practice at home before you go.

Practice putting your baby in the capsule and the capsule in and out of the car. Practice getting the pram in and out of the car and unfolding the pram so that when you are out you are confident with the mechanical things.

 

These ideas will hopefully help on your way to getting out with your baby. Having a baby sleeping will be easier when you can see your baby sleeping patterns. Once you can get your baby sleeping better then a social life is easily sustained that will benefit your baby too.

Baby sleeping problems- Reflux and babies who don’t sleep.

 

 

Reflux is so very common these days. I have difficulty believing that it is normal for so many babies to be in such discomfort. I have to say I can’t believe mother nature would make so many babies have this uncomfortable thing on purpose. Especially when it causes so many sleep problems in babies.

[caption id="attachment_2319" align="alignleft" width="150"] Baby sleeping problems[/caption]

Reflux occurs when the acid contents of the baby’s stomach wash up in to the baby’s oesophagus. Sometimes babies vomit often and particularly around feeding times. For others there is no vomiting but the symptoms of discomfort are very obvious. These include back arching and crying, sometimes being very rigid in their body, coughing or swallowing after feeds and needing to be upright most of the time.

 
I do believe it is an affliction of our modern life. I intend absolutely no blame here. Medical professionals, mums, therapists, healers, myself- all are doing our best in the way we know how to help mums and families not only manage a baby in distress from reflux, but also to look at ways to avoid it.

 
For those families experiencing reflux, you know that sleep is a scarce commodity and a precious one as a result. Any baby who is in some discomfort will have difficulty with sleep. Catnaps are common and also for sleeping against mum or dad’s chest , usually because being upright is more comfortable than lying horizontal. The problem with this is that mum or dad become exhausted because they are constantly holding their baby. In times gone by when families we’re closer, there would have been another pair of arms to help but in our modern ways when families are often geographically distant it all falls to the few and they quickly become drained and exhausted,thus causing a viscious cycle of tiredness, emotional responses rather than objective clear thinking.

 
In all families experiencing reflux, using posture and possibly different milks is the first line of intervention. With breastfeeding, we’d look at dietary tweaks as a way to help reduce or avoid reflux as a possible option. It is not easy and does take time. Medication and more intensive medical therapies is always secondary and surgery a last resort when other things fail.
Osteopathy or chiropractics may be helpful also.

 
Pre biotics and pro biotics are also mentioned as being useful. Pre biotics are the specific simple sugars that feed the probiotics. Probiotics are the good bacteria that live in the gut and help to break down food adequately.

 
Often in babies with “reflux”- the gut “health” is impaired. All of you in tune with food and our bodies are already aware of the types of foods/herbs that repair gut health. In some it may take a little longer to repair. And for those babies who have a more complex problem that is more than this, it won’t be the only answer either.

 
Reflux may be a very real problem in babies who don’t sleep. For those experiencing baby sleeping problems, whether your baby has reflux as a cause is worth considering.

Baby sleeping

 

Baby sleeping all night-Does your baby’s personality affect sleep in babies who don’t sleep?
Parents struggling with their baby not sleeping all night often wonder if their baby’s personality is part of the cause.

 

Afterall, amongst adults there are varying amounts of sleep per night that are considered normal or adequate for effective functioning.
Often I hear parents say out loud maybe it’s my baby’s personality that makes my baby one who doesn’t sleep. My response is yes , personality can absolutely be a part of your baby’s good or not so good sleep. The good news is that we can always build habits/ routines around sleep so that they all get what they need for sleep.

 
My biggest babies sleeping tip is to follow their lead. If you can follow what your baby needs from you at each point in the day, you can’t go wrong. The tricky bit is working out what that is and timing it right too. This may sound impossible or hard work at the least, however once you are aware of what to look for and are aware of what is reasonable for their developmental ability it becomes much easier. You as a parent don’t have to do the research into this because, guess what, it has all been done for you. Over the previous 50-100 years researchers have been watching, documenting and comparing behaviours, needs and responses for decades all so that it can become easier for you.

 
Afterall if it is easier for you to look after your baby, both you and your baby are going to be happier, you as a parent will enjoy the experience more, feel more confident and empowered and have a stronger relationship with your baby. Stronger family relationships mean stronger community relationships and the snow ball effect from there means greater self esteem, prosperity and country health and wellbeing.
Got off on a tangent. Coming back to the point. Yes your baby’s personality does have an effect on sleep but not to the effect where he or she is overtired all the time from lack of sleep. Your baby may not need as much sleep as another however each and every one of us, your baby included, needs a certain amount to function effectively and feel calm and relaxed.

 

This is the most important bit. If your baby has only 10 hours sleep in a 24 hour period and is calm relaxed and thriving, all good. However if your baby gets 16 hours and is still cranky, upset and needy a little more sleep may make a big difference, even 1 hour can make a big impact.

 

Babies who don’t sleep and babies who sleep all night can both be affected by personality, however the amount of time spent by your baby sleeping needs to be suitable to him or her as an individual.
.

Sleep training-Getting your baby to sleep using the pouch or sling

Baby sleep training-

Getting baby to sleep using the Pouch or sling

 

Baby sleep training is still one of the most controversial subjects for new parents. When parents use a pouch or sling in getting their baby to sleep, many from old school type of thinking  may caution that they are spoiling their baby or creating bad habits.

 

Is this really the case though?

[caption id="attachment_2460" align="alignleft" width="150"] sleeping baby[/caption]

 We know that babies love to be held, rocked, soothed, sung to and generally held.  They love the contact and closeness, the security and comfort feelings that it brings. Babies need these feelings for  survival, it is required. So why then are we so averse to giving this to babies when they need it most?

 When your baby feels secure, calm, safe, relaxed and content, he or she requires less of you emotionally and physically because they are ok. When your baby is out of sorts, feels “yucky” for some reason then he or she will require more of you to help him or her return to a calm, soothed and relaxed state.

At times, particularly when discussing infants sleep methods or baby sleep training, using a pouch or sling is often frowned upon. However, it is a very useful tool for helping your baby soothe and calm so that he or she can get the sleep needed to feel calm again. When your baby is overtired he or she needs help to get to sleep and then sometimes to stay asleep. Baby sleep training can play a role here without being strict and harsh and using the pouch in a positive way.

Most babies love being in the sling/pouch because they are near you and feel safe, secure and content. Certainly young babies love it as do their parents mostly.  It is a handy tool for soothing or when doing shopping or walking so that hands are free and baby is calmed.

If you do feel the need to do some baby sleep training in getting your baby to sleep, using the pouch or sling can still be a useful and positive tool to achieve your goals and will not necessarily spoil your baby.