Brand new borns and sleep

Newborns and sleep brings up many questions. Actually brand newborns don’t bring up questions about sleep because mostly they sleep well for the first two weeks or so.  Most of them do anyway.  Some are unsettled from birth but they are the minority.

Newborns typically are sleepy in the first 24hours of life.  Perhaps they are tired from the birthing process  in the case of a long vaginal birth. Or perhaps they are simply not hungry and feel quite satisfied still in the case of a caesarean birth where they haven’t expended a lot of energy. This is also raises questions in the case of a caesarean after a long labour, I would think the baby did expend some energy in this case.

Most babies are born with fat stores to give them some insulation in the first few days of life until the breastmilk of the mother comes in. The fat stores are often enough to sustain them until they get the nice fat milk when the milk finally arrives in larger volumes.

For whatever reason, and there are different theories as with most things, babies in the first 24 hours are usually pretty sleepy and content, perhaps feeding a few times but not usually frequently. We don’t know everything about newborns and sleep, however as time goes on we are thankfully learning more and more.

The colostrum  in the first days before breastmilk comes in that is available is believed to have all the energy, antibodies and fluid a newborn requires to sustain  him or her until more fattier milk can be supplied.  Certainly from observing and caring for babies in this time, in most cases it is certainly adequate.  Having said that, some babies need a little more and those that are offered more will take it eagerly and so continue with a preference for good solid volumes to feel satisfied.

In the second 24 hours, babies tend to want to feed more and newborns and sleep do not seem to go hand in hand.  Many mothers will attest to the sleep deprivation and fatigue they feel at this time as their baby wants and needs to suck almost continuously at the breast until the milk comes in.  While there isn’t large volumes of milk at the time, there is usually sufficient with frequent feeding to satisfy them enough for short periods and still giving them enough calories  to sustain until the milk comes in.

Thankfully usually on about day 3 of life, the milk comes in in larger volumes.  This satisfies the baby by filling up their tummy and allowing him or her to rest , feel satisfied and to sleep.

Sometimes the milk is delayed and we usually say 3-5 days for milk to come in. In some circumstances the milk may be delayed up to weeks or months later.

So, brand newborns and sleep is usually  no problem, and doesn’t bring up too many questions initially.  It is later that questions arise over newborns and sleep when they start to wake up a little and find out more about their surroundings and how things work in extra uterine life.

What do I stand for?

 

I have been asked often and more recently as I delve more into the world of private practice and business – “ What do you stand for?”  I have often felt pressured into choosing just one option.

My clients  and others  who know me, know that I do not have any bias about the best way to do something.  I have been told that this is one thing they like about my approach- the fact that I offer a variety of solutions  not just one way. (Apparently I am also funny-  more so when I am trying to act all professional like!  Lol)
Anyway, I’d like to tell you a story that may help you understand what I stand for when it comes to sleeping babies particularly.

 
A mother plonked herself down in the chair in my room, put her baby on the floor in the car capsule,  and before I had a chance to speak, the first thing she said was “I’m not cuddling my baby to sleep. I can’t do it. If I have to do that I don’t know what will happen. I just can’t do it. I won’t do it.“

 
Her first child was now two years of age.  She had cuddled her first baby to sleep for 12 months or more and was visibly distressed as she told me her account of how it affected her, her baby, her relationship with her husband and her family. She told me how throughout her second pregnancy all she could think of was what she was going to do once this baby was born.  The thought of cuddling her baby to sleep was so distressing to her.

 
I first attempted to  gently encourage her to seek assistance for herself in regards to her feelings about this so that perhaps this time could be different. This went nowhere.  To her all she could focus on was not cuddling her baby to sleep. It wasn’t about not cuddling her baby, it was about the sleep part of it. She could not move past this idea.  I found that until we addressed this idea  and discussed expectations, options  and strategies for her to use she could not move past it., such was her distress.

 
With her first baby she had read widely and did as the books suggested and found herself feeling miserable and stuck, frustrated by the habits she had formed with no way out that she could see. And a miserable baby with it. Her relationship was strained and she felt unsupported and judged by her family.  She really felt all alone with her idea of what motherhood would be like shattered. She had attended a number of mothers groups  but felt self conscious  and uncomfortable here too.

 
After a number of weeks  getting to know her better, she acknowledged her part in it. She admitted that she had ”stuff” that came up from her past and was so over whelmed by the effect it had on her that her it took her by surprise. She acknowledged  her  particular personality traits that had made becoming a mother a difficult, exhausting, confusing  and  a downright miserable time for her.
I saw her weekly for a couple of months to begin with and then as she felt more at ease,  less frequently.

 
I always wondered about how this time would be different for her and whether in fact it would be. Just as importantly I wondered  whether  her relationship and feelings for this baby and her first would be any different.

 
I saw  the 3 of them when her second one was two years of age. What a difference.  I was amazed at the difference in the relationship between her first child and her second child. She continued to hold resentment towards her first child which delayed positive progress in relationship repairing.

 
Please understand that she didn’t like feeling like this however in being honest this is how she felt.  She also felt remorseful and guilty that she had these feelings. (No wonder she was exhausted).

 
She loved both her children and sadly acknowledged the vast difference in relationship she had with them.  She had been getting help for her “stuff” on this matter for about 6 months and it was helping.  She was making progress and it was her goal to repair the relationship with her first one. The relationship with her second child was strong, comforting, warm, secure and healthy.

 
This woman is a highly educated, caring, intelligent and warm person.  Becoming a mother posed challenges that she could not have imagined  and took her by surprise.

 
My  point in outlining this true story, is that there is not just one way to do things with babies.  What does or doesn’t work with one child may not necessarily be the thing to do for the next.  Becoming a parent is a huge change in itself, my goal is to support women in finding the way that suits their personality, needs, difficulties and  current situation.

 
I cringe when I hear comments that lend themselves towards frowning on choices a parent makes.  Remember we all have our histories, we are all trying our best and ultimately that is all we can do, while we strive to learn.

 
So what do I stand for?

 
Practical ideas that are flexible, unbiased, tailored, sensitive to parent and infant well being, proven, trusted and repeatable that takes in the big picture.

Warm regards
Leisa

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How food can  interfere with your little ones sleep

Thank fully we have become more aware that when babies are not sleeping there are more reasons to look at than just, “he is just winding me up”.

As we continue to discover more about infants, digestion, etcetera, we will continue to get better at determining what may be interfering and able to judge if this is the case much better and earlier too.

So things to consider around food/milk and baby not sleeping that may not be obvious at first-
1.  Baby gorging him or herself with milk and getting a tummy ache.(just because they love it)
2.  Baby not getting enough, feeling unsatisfied and not settling.
3. Food intolerance- this can be through breastmilk and is difficult to pinpoint early. Eg lactose intolerance or food mum is having.
4. Food sensitivity- similar to food intolerance and also difficult to pinpoint early
5. Reflux-  this is tricky.  Babies can appear to have reflux when it may not be.  Food intolerances and sensitivities can also appear as reflux in little ones.
6. Constipation- can be a sign of food sensitivity, or just not enough fluid, or something intrinsic with metabolism.
7. Vomiting- reflux is the first thing most would think of but it may be something else, good to see a health professional
8. Formulas- the sugar in the formula, the oil in the formula or the protein source in the formula, the ratio of casein:whey ( the protein part) can all affect baby’s gut.
9. Baby feeding constantly and not able to sleep adequately for enough  rest.
10. Windy baby- lot’s “farting” and tummy ache- intolerance, too much sugar
For restful sleep, ensuring your baby is comfortable and satisfied is important to get first, then any sleep issues can be  looked at. Sometimes when you have tried to get the sleep sorted and it just isn’t happening, one of these things may be part of the problem.
Consider looking at what your baby is eating or drinking as an influence on your baby’s sleep. If you have done this maybe redo it. Or perhaps find a professional who can help you through .
Give us a call- We would love to help out.
Regards
Leisa

I Miss Mummy

“I Miss Mummy”
I had the pleasure of assisting a family’s breastfeeding difficulties with their second baby. Their first child is 3 years of age.  There was Mum, Dad, Grandma and a 3 year old sibling at home, all coming and going out of the room at various times.
As we were talking the mother mentioned that they had terrible difficulty with the behaviour of  their 3 year old that morning particularly, but also for the past few days.  They were stumped and upset as you would imagine.
Usually, Dad goes to work during the week and the 3 year old is home with Mummy.  Their extended families live overseas. “Mummy’s” mother has flown over and will be with them for 3 months altogether to help out while the baby needs so much attention and to build a relationship with the eldest one.
We discussed what they had been trying to do to build up a relationship between Grandma and the 3 year old. We also talked about what they were wanting to happen, and then some ideas about what they were trying with no success.
Once we talked about seeing the situation from their child’s point of view, suddenly they could see a new way, understand why the behaviour was occurring and then make plans to remedy it and move forward positively.
It became clear for them to see their part, inadvertently, in the behaviour occurring too which was so enlightening. With a bit of clarity, we discussed different things to focus on to help things change. Things like spending 1: 1 time without interruption. Follow through on what you are saying you will do. Include her in activities that you need to do with the baby. Plan for those times that are potentially more high stress such as feeding, and many more ideas.
What made it all the more clear for them were 3 little words.
The Dad had been out with their 3 year old that morning and returned while I was there. Dad gave a brief account of the behaviour that morning while they were out. All 3 of us , Mum, Dad and I had tears in our eyes as he told us how the lady they had visited that morning asked their child why she was behaving this way.  The 3 words that brought tears to our eyes were simply…
“I Miss Mummy”.

9 things you didn’t know about Leisa

I have been on this page for over a year  now and realised that if I haven’t met you in person, you probably don’t know a lot about me personally. I haven’t shared a lot of me here. However I am changing that. From now on I share more about me.
So today I thought I would give you a glimpse into a bit more about me behind the scenes of insync with infants.  It feels a bit daunting.
Here we go…
1.   I am essentially  a shy person. If you were to ask someone from my primary school the difference to today- they would be quite surprised.  I am still shy- I’ve just learned to “pretend”.

 

2.   Family is important to me.  I am from a large extended family on both my parents sides.  We have the privilege of having family from my mum’s side spread across Australia, mostly Qld and my Dad’s in Holland.  So I get to have a good excuse to travel to Europe and have many places to stay.  In fact it is hard not to upset anyone because they are all asking me to stay.  OF course there is a standing reciprocal invite and we have often had strangers from overseas turn up on the doorstep saying they are a friend or relative of a relative and were told  they could come and stay.  Of course they are welcome and we have met many interesting and fun people this way. It makes for a fun and broadened life.

 

3. I love getting dirty. Doing stuff in the yard or around my house, like mowing, digging.  I also like having a shower after and getting all sparkley clean and smelling fresh again.

 

4. I love dancing.  I am not very good at it.  When I have a few drinks too many- I think I am John Travolta.  Sadly I am not and in the morning my aching body reminds me of this sad fact!! I prefer salsa, merangue, cha cha, jive- (because they have steps that I can follow).

 

 
5. My favourite unwinding activity- I love the beach and camping and a nice light white wine with lunch and then reading a book in the afternoon after my nanna nap.

 

 
6.  I love food.  I like eating it and I like making it. I like growing it and buying it.  I like to practice a new recipe on my friends.  Sometimes it becomes a surprise new favourite recipe and sometimes not so.  I don’t have one favourite food.  I  like savoury and sweet though sweet probably trumps savoury by a whisker.  If I had to  choose my last meal before I died-  I would probably die before I decided because there are too many that I love  or I would have a smorgasboard!

 

 
7. I love to read real books and magazines- so that I can feel the pages.

 

 
8. I love the smell  and feel of getting into clean sheets.

 

 
9. I love the colour blue like Tiffanys

 

 
If you would like to introduce yourself please do.

Baby led weaning

Baby led weaning

 

 

 

[caption id="attachment_2022" align="alignright" width="150"] baby led weaning[/caption]

This is always a popular topic. I have to confess that I was taught the spooning foods way to start solids and couldn’t get my head around this babyled weaning thing at first.

 

I think it is because it is messy and I am a little anal about mess and food.  Don’t get me wrong- I love getting dirty in the yard or doing some little DIY jobs at home. It gives me a sense of accomplishment. The possibility of getting food places you don’t even know just doesn’t sit right.
Any way,  baby led weaning to my thinking is either way of starting solids. Whether you start with a spoon or let your baby grab family foods for him or herself it should always be baby led.  We should always take  the cue from our baby so even with spooning foods this is the rule. Never force food at any stage or age and never withhold food. We want to foster a healthy relationship with food. Your job is to offer, your baby’s job is to eat, has long been my mantra.
So what is all the hoo ha about? For those of you who are unsure it simply means offering your baby a variety of foods that he or she can grab for them self no spoons involved.
It really is your choice how you do it.  It just depends on what suits you and your baby.  Baby led weaning has been around for a long time now- I would guess about 10 years in ernest.
It is not going away.  From what I see most families use a combination of babyled weaning and spooned foods.  As long as the goal is to offer whole unprocessed foods of a suitable texture, it doesn’t matter which way you choose.  The choice is yours.

The important points with any eating:   have your little one seated- for safety reasons and to foster healthy eating habits  and so your food can be digested better

Always supervise any time food is involved.

Offer a variety of wholesome foods that the family eats.  Note this is not takeaway, and processed foods.

Happy baby led weaning!!

Sore & Damaged nipples

For any of you with sore and particularly cracked or bleeding nipples.- IT IS NOT NORMAL WITH BREASTFEEDING.

It means that something is not right either what your baby is doing or with what you are doing.

If this is you or someone you know, please get help early.  This is something I deal with regularly.

Often it is relatively easy to fix.  Very commonly, you start with sore, then cracked then bleeding nipples then most times mastitis follows.

Get help early and you may prevent it getting to the point where you really want to give up because it is excruciating.

The truth about baby’s crying-new born help

 

 

When I am working with parents and teaching them about their baby’s behaviours, needs etc , the number one thing that really gets to them is wanting to hear the truth about their baby's crying. How much babies cry is individual.  Some experts say up to 3 hours a day for a newborn is average.This can be hard to get your head around. And even harder to deal with when you are in it.

 

I don’t mean little whingey cries that are easily stopped with a nappy change or feed or cuddle.  The cry that says where are you? are you there/ are you coming? Or the cry that says just cuddle me, give me a burp and I will be dandy.
I am talking about the big distressed cry when parents think OMG, there must be something really wrong with my baby. The big cry that has you rushing to the emergency department because your little one has never done this before and there must be something wrong.
It is very distressing to be in this scenario. Be reassured, we, meaning doctors, midwives, health care professionals etc would rather you went to seek help and there was nothing wrong than to wait and think , “If there is nothing wrong, they will think we are stupid”. That will never happen.  Any time a parent is being a parent is good no matter what. It is better to err on the side of caution.
Anyway back to the crying.  Babies cry. For those parents whose newborn has not cried hardly at all, it comes as a huge shock to one day have their quiet, calm precious newborn, suddenly let out this huge cry or scream that seems far too big for their tiny body. And this big crying/screaming session can last for what seems like hours. Your natural instinct is to think that something is wrong.
For those parents whose little one has cried from day one for no apparent reason, it is also difficult for them to comprehend too.  I f nothing is wrong , then why does my baby cry all the time?  Sometimes it is really difficult to find out the cause of the crying when it is constant. This is perhaps more distressing because of the constant crying.  Usually as babies get older and more mature, the cause can be identified or justified.  Some parents have reported ” As soon as he could move himself around the floor he was happy.  He just wanted to be able to move.” Sometimes we do know what the cause is however we are doing our best to make them as comfortable as possible. The truth is, sometimes we just never understand why, they just seem to outgrow it at some stage. Most often between the ages of 3-6 months, sometimes longer.
In the adult, cognitively, thinking world, very generally, crying implies something is wrong.  How many times , when you are crying, possibly for happy reasons, does someone come up to you and say”what’s wrong?” .  There may be nothing wrong, you just feel like a cry because you are tired or  you just a watched a Lassie episode( that was me), or happy and not necessarily sad.
What I am trying to get to is that babies cry.  Our job is to think about why it may be and try to address what we think it is.  Remember babies can’t speak.  Sometimes if we think of it as my baby is talking to me, it can alleviate some pressure.  When you have gone through the usual checklist of what it possibly could be, our job is to be with them while they work their way through  what ever it is they are feeling.
Giving them that message of I am here to help you calmly is the best way to help them cope with whatever it is they are dealing with.  Crying reduces as your baby matures and they learn that you are there to help.

 

Warm regards

Leisa

 

Here’s to Sensational Baby Sleep !!

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