Sunday 24 June 2012

Help your baby sleep well at night.

 
For most new parents the shock of regular night waking to feed your baby can be mind blowing.  This is usually the number one difficulty for new parents to adapt to and get their head around.

It is realistic  to expect your newborn to feed overnight up until they are about 6 months of age.  Many babies will stop night feeds well before this time, however it is important to know that it is normal for babies to still require a feed at night until about the age of 6 months.

Fortunately there are a number of habits you can employ to help your baby learn that night time is boring and that sleeping is the best thing to do at night.

One of the most helpful strategies to help newborns sleep well is to swaddle or wrap them.  Use a muslin,  or natural fibre fabric is important so that your baby does not over heat or smother if the wrap moves up near their face.  Natural fibres breathe more, and keep us warm by trapping air next to our skin.  By wrapping your baby for sleep particularly at night, it offers a sense of security, keeps them warm and helps minimise the startle reflex. Remember newborns are looking for security and safety, if there is nothing for their arms to touch, it sends them a message that their environment is not safe so they better wake up. Wrapping can minimise this and encourage sleep from a sense of security. Adding layers of blankets over the wrap and dressing them in layers can help keep them warm  in colder seasons.

At night when you need to feed your baby, try to keep stimulation to as little as possible.  This means keep lights down low.  Remember what it feels like to wake up in darkness and put on a bright light? It’s a bit of a shock to our system. Keep lights down low so that it is less waking for your baby.

Use a gentle calm, softer quiet voice and keep talking to a minimum.

Only change your baby’s nappy if you need to.  If you are using disposables- they are designed to absorb  fluid away from the skin.  If you don’t need to change it, then don’t.

Avoid play time at night.  Remember just because they are ready for play doesn’t mean you have to play with them.  There is plenty of opportunity to play during the day.

By reducing stimulation, it encourages your baby to settle back to sleep easier.  To encourage swift night settling, do what you need to do for your baby, then settle back to bed again as soon as practical.

Your bay will soon learn that night is boring and day time is when the party time is.

Sunday 17 June 2012

Sleeping through the night - what exactly does this mean?

 
What is sleeping through the night for one parent may not be the same definition to another.  When I am helping families with their baby and children’s sleep,  I often hear  anecdotes of friends with babies the same age who reportedly “ sleep  through the night”. This can be quite distressing for some who are feeling very sleep deprived and that they are somehow doing something wrong because their baby is not doing what others babies of the same age are.  Particularly when sleep is so precious.

With further questioning from me, often, the report of sleeping through the night is different to their  idea of sleeping through the night.  It is definitely open to interpretation.  And given that we all have different backgrounds, expectations, supports ,  lifestyles and personalities this is not surprising. Our expectations are definitely open to interpretation and just like Chinese whispers, the story can sometimes morph a little in the delivery with no intention.

Sleeping through the night means something different to everyone.  The variations include sleeping for 6 hours in one go, sleeping through one feed over night, sleeping 10 hours in one go, waking 3-4 hourly for feeds and going straight back to sleep.

I have heard these reports of sleeping through the night from different people when I question them further on what exactly is happening during the night.

My point for you is to bear this in mind when interrupted sleep with your little one is leaving you questioning whether you are doing something wrong. OR when your friends or acquaintances report that their baby, the same age as yours sleeps through the night.

Ask others directly if baby feeds during the night, how often, what time.  When you ask them exactly what happens sometimes reality is a little different to your idea.

It is not wrong, just perception and expectation differences.

Generally, most babies will still wake overnight at least once until about 6 months of age.  It is often  earlier, and that is a bonus, however we would not expect it until then.

 

Sunday 10 June 2012

Time Magazine cover Attachment Parenting



Not sure how many of you saw this cover on Time in the last few months.  It has caused quite a stir which is of course what the magazine wants.

On the face of it, it appeared to be presented to me that attachment parenting involved breastfeeding.  And unless you are breastfeeding, you are not raising your children with the attachment parenting principles.

That isn’t what the article is about.  And previous articles and news items I feel have also projected this same idea.

What is attachment parenting?  To me it is simply responding to your child in a timely manner. Whether you are breastfeeding or bottle feeding doesn’t matter, it is the relationship you are building and the trust that is forming that is important.

As with all things, there can be extremes. With attachment parenting the extreme on one end is that the baby is breastfed, in contact with the parent for the first 3 months unhindered, and continue to be in contact with the parent for a large part of the day from there after. Breastfeeding is often continued for as long as the child wants which may be up to 5-7 years in some cases. The children sleep with the parents until they no longer wish to.  There are other aspects of attachment however these 2 topics make up the bulk of the debates.

From where I stand, I don’t believe that the extreme is for everyone. There has to be a place for the middle road, for personal choice of what suits your circumstances and experiences. For some,  wearing their baby 24/7 would send them into a head spin.

There is enough pressure to be a prefect parent as it is and in reality no one is perfect.  Everyone makes mistakes and that is ok because mistakes are just lessons.

 

Sunday 3 June 2012

Startle reflex

 
Babies, until the age of 3-4 months will display the startle reflex where they throw out both their arms as if having had a sudden scare.  The presence if this shows a nervous system that is working.   Theoretically, the thought is that when we were cavemen, this reflex was a primitive safety reflex.  Imagine we were a hairy race, I mean long hair all over our bodies.  If someone was holding a baby and for some reason the baby was to fall or be dropped, the reflex would provide a possibility of safety.

Babies also have a strong grasp reflex.  This is when we put our finger in their palm, they will grasp it very tightly. So, in the scenario mentioned, when a baby falls , they will startle, and whatever their palms touch, they will grasp onto.

The startle reflex comes into play with sleep also.  As with a lot of us, when we are going off to sleep, sometimes there is a sense of falling.  That is why  babies will show  the startle reflex when they are going off to sleep.  Often, but not always, this can wake them up, when they were almost off to sleep.

Babies sometimes will startle when they come into a light sleep state  for the same reason.

It is for this reason that we encourage young babies(under 3 months), to be wrapped or swaddled to go off to sleep.  Being swaddled gives them a sense of security when they startle by offering a firm resistance to their arms when they lift them in a startle.

Babies go to sleep easily when being cuddled against your chest  too. They can’t startle because their arms are next to your chest and can’t physically  reach out because your chest is stopping it.

By the way, babies sleep well on their tummies because they can’t startle.  Tummy sleeping is strongly discouraged because of SIDS risks.  This has been proven over years of research from this wonderful organisation.

Primitive cultures also note this. Through research, it has been shown that these cultures instinctively also put their babies to sleep on their backs for the same reason.